Comparison is the Thief of Joy — Here's How to Connect to the Peace Within Yourself
I was recently reminded of a powerful quote during a coaching session that I felt compelled to share and dig into. It speaks volumes about contentment and peace — and how easily we can lose both when we compare ourselves to others:
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
— Mary Oliver
Have you ever noticed that when your in a comparison loop it can become a trap that if allowed steals your peace & joy?
If I’m being honest, when I’m not grounded within myself, I often look outside for validation — social media, for instance. But as we all know, that often makes things worse. The endless scrolling leads me to compare my life to others', to measure my worth based on what I’m not doing, or what I should be doing.
It’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of believing everyone else has it figured out, that everyone else is living a perfect life. I’m not saying that everything on social media is fake, but let’s be honest: it can sometimes feel curated to make us believe we need more in order to feel good enough. But here's the thing — comparison is the thief of joy. When we focus on what others have, we lose sight of the beauty and magic of what’s right in front of us.
Now, with the holiday season in full swing, it’s even more important to practice gratitude and presence. So how do we stop comparing ourselves to others or even to past versions of ourselves?
For me, it’s an ongoing practice. I’ve learned that the first step is noticing when I’m in a headspace of comparison. Once I catch myself, I check in: What is at the root of this discomfort? Am I anxious? Overwhelmed? Angry? Sad? Tired? Identifying the root cause helps me break the cycle of comparison. I can then allow myself to feel those emotions fully, without bypassing them. The key is coming home to myself and remembering that what I have in my life is enough — even if it doesn’t look like someone else’s version of “perfect.”
Here are some simple practices that help me (and might help you too) stop comparing:
(Remember these are an offering, an invitation to explore, reflect & discover - if they don’t feel aligned, take what does & gently leave the rest behind.)
Focus on your strengths: What brings you joy? What are you really good at? Have you had any recent wins or successes that you’ve overlooked or dismissed? Celebrate those!
Practice gratitude: Comparison often shifts our focus to the things we don’t have. Interrupt that negative self-talk by reminding yourself of the blessings and achievements you already have.
Celebrate others' wins: Instead of feeling jealous or threatened by someone else’s success, lift them up with kindness and love. There’s enough room for all of us to thrive!
Practice contentment: Find peace with where you’re at on your journey. Life is a process, not a destination. Embrace where you are now.
Take social media breaks: If you find yourself in a comparison loop, step away from social media for a while. Use the time to reflect, journal, go for a walk, meditate, or read. These moments of quiet can help you reconnect with yourself.
By strengthening your sense of self-worth, you’ll find it easier to silence the need for outside validation. Why look to others to define your value when you can create it for yourself? Imagine how powerful it will feel to confidently walk forward and design the life of your dreams — one that’s uniquely yours.
I hope this mindful musing brings you peace, clarity, and a sense of grounding as we head into the holiday season and into 2025.
Thank you for being a part of this growing community of peacemakers.
With love and gratitude,
Angie
