Anxiety came back—so I got curious
Before we dive into this week’s Mindful Musing, I want to acknowledge that it’s arriving a little later than usual. After the long holiday weekend, I gave myself the gift of space—time to unplug, recharge, and be fully present with family, friends, nature, rest, and good food. I also didn’t want to force a topic just to get something out the door.
So I waited. I prayed. I journaled. I went for a run—and, like clockwork, my soul began to speak.
And what came forward?
Hello, old friend: anxiety.
We’re not exactly friends, but we are familiar. And, over the years, I’ve learned that when anxiety shows up—when it hits me like a ton of bricks—I need to pause. Not analyze, not fix. Feel. Be present with it instead of suppressing or bypassing it.
I have found that anxiety always carries a message. There’s always wisdom in it—something to learn, process or heal.
A mentor once told me about the Law of Opposites: “Tell the world what you want—and it will show you what still needs to be healed.”
That couldn't be more true for me right now.
For weeks, I’ve been carrying this vague unease—like a fog I can’t quite shake. A heaviness, a flatness, an undercurrent of sadness or dread. It shows up in waves: overanalyzing every word I said (or didn’t say), second-guessing how I showed up, or just a general sense of irritation or disconnection.
Sometimes it lives in my gut, my clammy palms, my racing thoughts. It feels like walking on cracked pavement—never quite steady.
And it pulls me away from the truest version of myself. The version I’ve come to love.
Maybe it’s the season I’m in… the anticipation and transition I talked about in my last newsletter (still rippling through me). The state of our world and the devastation we’re a witness too. Maybe hormones. Probably all of the above. But when I really slow down and look closely, I know this anxiety is pointing toward more work to be done.
More compassion to offer myself.
More old stories to sift through. More emotions to actually feel, rather than manage.
Here’s something that I sometimes forget: I’ve been sober from alcohol for 7.5 years.
That’s part of my story. A huge part of my growth. And also a reason why, when anxiety visits now, it can still shake me—because I lived with intense, chronic anxiety for years. I used to try to numb it, outrun it, drown it in a bottle.
But this version of me? I face it.
Even when it wakes me up in the middle of the night.
Even when it hijacks my thoughts and makes me question everything.
Even when it gives me the “ick” to sit with it.
I know the only way through it is through it.
So, I’ve been doing just that—naming it, feeling it, learning from it. And now I’m sharing it with you, because sharing helps me heal. And maybe it helps you, too.
If you’re feeling anxious, off, overwhelmed, or just not yourself lately—you are not alone.
I see you. I feel you. And I hope this reminder meets you where you are:
“You are not broken. You are becoming.”
And for those of you who need a little spiritual grounding today:
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”
Gentle Journal Prompts
If you’d like to sit with this theme more deeply, here are a few invitations to reflect:
What season of life are you in right now?
What is it here to teach you about yourself?
What do you need to release or surrender in order to move forward?
What clarity or truth is trying to emerge?
What’s one small, anchoring step you can take this week to come back to yourself?
A Few Things I’m Excited to Share
Post-Holiday Reset Meditation
Need a pause to reset? I recorded a short guided meditation.
My self published children’s book: Song of Friendship
It’s here! My heart-centered children’s book is now available.
Be My Life Coach is now LIVE!
If you or someone you know is ready for a space to unpack, explore, and reconnect to their own wisdom—I’d love to connect. Click Be My Life Coach and search my name.
Thank you, truly, for being here and allowing me to share what’s real and alive in me. Because of this space—and you—I feel a little less activated and a lot more aligned.
If anything in this musing sparked curiosity, introspection or you just want to chat - please reach out. I’m here for you.
With love,
Angie
